From Guinevere

Today's offering is from Alfred, Lord Tennyson's Idylls of Arthur - Guinevere:

And courtliness, and the desire of fame,

And love of truth, and all that makes a man.

And all this throve before I wedded thee,

Believing, "lo mine helpmate, one to feel

My purpose and rejoicing in my joy."

Then came thy shameful sin with Lancelot;

Then came the sin of Tristan and Iseult;

Then others, following these my mightiest knights,

And drawing foul example from fair names,

Sinned also, till the loathsome opposite

Of all my heart had destined did obtain,

And all through thee! so that this life of mine

I guard as God's high gift from scathe and wrong,

Not greatly care to lose; but rather think

How sad it were for Arthur, should he live,

What draws me to this is not the casting of blame, though it is present.  (We do so love to justify ourselves.)  Rather, it is the tremendous impact one sin can have.  Here, Guinevere's sin has caused the destruction of everything important to Arthur, including their relationship.  He no longer cares whether he lives or dies.  What he had, what he thought he had, has shattered.  His closest personal relationships - that with his wife, that with his friend Lancelot - are broken.  

Furthermore, he is the king.  One sin's destruction makes wide waves throughout his kingdom, rippling out to affect everyone within it.  We see Arthur's sorrow.  He sees his people's sorrow.  Heartbroken for his marriage, heartbroken for his people, living now seems a burdensome task.  What once he held as highest gift, he is not bothered now to lose.

What we define as love is no such thing.